Affects of Divorce on Children
Long Term and Short Term Effects

Affects of divorce on children can be substantial and long lasting, or they can be mild and short term. However, no matter who you are or how much you try to prepare for the effects of divorce, chances are that it will have some kind of effect on your life and on the lives of your children. In order to deal with the fall-out of a divorce properly you need to understand what some of the effects are and how you should deal with those effects.

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Divorce affects children in several ways. Many effects are transitory and short term. Things like mild depression and grief, mild anxiety and the need to be with their parents more often are common side-effects of divorce. These issues cause temporary disruptions to normal routines and family life, however, with time kids usually are able to work their way through these problems and adjust perfectly well to the new situation.

To help your children to deal affectively with these short term conditions and emotions, you really just need to be supportive and nurturing. This may mean that you will need to increase the amount of time that you spend exclusively with you children, that you coddle them a bit more then you would normally do and that you encourage them to talk to you about their emotions and concerns. You may also want to continue to do things together as a family, including your former spouse, to help the kids adjust to the changes that the divorce will create.

While most children will be able to work their way through the effects of divorce, some have a tougher time making the transition. For these kids divorce affects them on a deeper level and it creates long-term effects. The severity of the emotional trauma caused by the divorce and the age of the child affects how much divorce will affect the life of a child. Some long-term problems that can develop as a result of a bad divorce include: moderate to severe depression, behavioral problems, relationship problems and self-esteem problems.

Dealing with the long-term effects of divorce on children is usually not attempted until the child has become an adult. This is a mistake. By allowing an emotional issue to develop and stew for years, you are allowing it to become a habit that needs concentrated treatment to correct. The best way to deal with possible long-term effects of divorce is to provide your children with the support and resources that they need to make the adjustments needed to handle your divorce. This may mean that you take them to a child psychologist, or that you go as a family to a family counselor. The important thing to do here is to do something.

If you don’t know how your divorce affects your children then you need to find someone or something that will help you to understand. There are several community level resources that you can turn to including social workers, psychologists, school counselors and your minister or religious leader. You may also want to check out books on the topic of divorce and children and you will also want to read articles on the topic. In addition to all of these suggestions you will also need to talk with your kids. Ask them how the divorce is affecting them.