Divorce brings on so many challenges, especially when you have children, whether they are infants, toddlers, school age or adults. I know, because after 27 years of marriage I found myself single.
During the divorce process I wrote my graduate school thesis on what other…. The Effects of Divorce on Adult Children. The research at that time did not exist. So I studied the effects on younger children and then interviewed adult children of divorce. To my surprise the affect was the same.
When my paper was returned to me, my professor commented, “Either people will think you are crazy or brilliant!” Why? Because the thesis designed a program to help parents to cooperatively co-parent their children. Would you believe that was back in 1993, not so long ago… and this was considered a new concept.
Well, now many people talk about how important it is for parents to be able to cooperatively co-parent, but few actually walk their talk. The purpose of this blog is to provide a place for you to give voice to practical ways to accomplished a positive coexistence with your former spouse and to help others do the same because when you are family to your children you always are family to each other.
Posted in front | 6 Comments »
Dating after a divorce is different for women. Women usually take longer to heal from a broken relationship. The healing process is complicated if you also have children of divorce. This process can last a few weeks or a few years. The key to being successful at dating as a woman after a divorce is to wait until you are ready to start a new relationship. However, you also have to keep in mind that you do not want to wait too long, or you may develop insecurities and fears about dating that will keep you from attracting a good man.
When you are ready to start dating again you need to get a good shot in the arm of self-confidence and self-worth. A good way to do this is to right down all of your positive attributes. For example, you may be a successful business woman, you may have a great sense of humor, you may have beautiful eyes or you may be very loyal. Knowing what you like about yourself will help you develop the confidence that is needed to be viewed as attractive.
The next step is to find ways to enhance your natural beauty. Men are visual so you will want to do what you can to draw their attention to your best feature or features. A trip to a hair salon for a full beauty treatment will not only make you look better, but it will also help you to relax and feel better about yourself. All of these things will make you look more attractive to men.
Prepare for your new social interactions. If you tend to be shy around new people then this tip can help you out. Come up with four or five questions that you can ask a man about his career, hobbies and other less personal pieces of information. This way if you enter into a conversation and you like the man, that you can keep the conversation going until you got him hooked on you.
Posted in dating after divorce - women | 3 Comments »
The new year is finally here. If you went through a divorce in 2009 then you are probably thinking about how to get back into the dating scene. Well the rules for dating are still the same, however, the male approach seems to be changing. It is now up to you to decide whether you want to be the chaser or the chased.
The traditional dating role of the man is the chaser, or rather the pursuer. In this role the man is responsible for making the first move and for keeping the relationship moving forward. However, the woman is in charge of the pace at which the relationship evolves, particularly in regards to physical intimacies. This role really forces men to put themselves on the line in regards to being rejected, however, it also gives them the power to start new interactions in social settings.
The modern role that some men are taking on is the role of the chased, or the role of the pursued. This role is popular in cities where women outnumber men. Since men are in short supply they have a better selection of women to choose between and therefore they have to invest less of an effort. However, this role is somewhat limiting to who you get to interact with as you wait for the woman to make the first move.
A good way to approach dating in 2010 is to combine both roles. When you see someone that you are interested in you can make the first move, or if you are feeling like being a little more passive you can just wait until someone approaches you. The key is to find a balance between the yin and the yang of dating. This is a trick that can be difficult for adult children of divorce to manage because of past insecurities, but it is a skill that can be learned and perfected with practice.
Posted in dating after divorce - men | 4 Comments »
Children and divorce – as mentioned throughout this blog’s history – are difficult to manage during the holidays. Not only does divorce make holidays more stressful, but it can also lead to injuries and illnesses during the holiday months.
How can divorce impact health during the holidays?
It has been long known that stress impacts your vulnerability to illnesses. This is because stress produces a hormone that impairs your immune system. This means that your body is less able to fight off infections and illnesses. Stress is compounded by divorce and by the holidays, making divorced families extra vulnerable to illnesses during the holiday season.
Are there more physical injuries during the holiday season?
Since the holidays take place at the beginning of winter more injuries do seem to be common during this season. There are slips and falls that are caused by snow and ice, and there are also winter sports injuries to contend with. This is particularly true of divorced families who try to host extreme holiday family vacations as a way to escape holiday stress.
How can you stay healthy during the holidays?
There are several things that divorced families can do to stay healthy and safe during the holidays. The first thing is to simply relax and take the extra pressure off their family for having the “perfect” holiday. Next families can focus on enjoying each other’s company and having fun, instead of on who will be with who on what days of the holiday vacation. Finally, when participating in winter sports divorced families need to be careful not to take any extra risks.
Posted in Chidren's Divorce Questions | Child - Youth | | 13 Comments »
Celebrity children of divorce have to deal with the trials that come with being from a divorced family as well as the trials that are added to the situation because they are a celebrity. This means that unlike most kids, they can’t get away from the fact that their parents are getting divorced, or that they are fighting or that there was infidelity in the relationship even for a moment. This is because the entire divorce process is documented and replayed in the media.
This really is a horrible situation for celebrity kids. Not only are they constantly bombarded by media replays of the latest news about their parents’ divorce, but they are also targeted and exploited by the media as well. This can create a lot of trauma for celebrity kids.
I really think that there needs to be stricter rules when it comes to how the media treats celebrity children of divorce. These kids need protection from unnecessary emotional traumas just like any other child. It is reprehensible that the media can get away with as much as they do.
How can we protect celebrity kids of divorce from media exploitation? If you have any suggestions then post them below.
Posted in celebrity divorces | 14 Comments »
It is very sad that celebrities find it so difficult to maintain healthy relationships. While it is understandable that some marriages are going to fail because of the evolution of lifestyles and personalities of the couple over the years. But what is truely disturbing about celebrity marriages is that they fail so quickly and so harshly.
Some people think that celebrity marriages are basically doomed from the start. This is because unlike normal people, celebrities have a lot of opportunities for new romances and hook-ups. Sometimes these dalliances lead to true love, but often times they lead to broken homes.
One of the casualties of celebrity divorces are children. The effects of divorce on children should make celebrities think twice about their indiscriminate bed hopping and marriage hopping, but it doesn’t seem to phase them.
Should there be laws established to protect children from the emotional stress and abuse created by celebrity and other parents who fail to think about their kids first before skipping from spouse to spouse or sex scandal to sex scandal?
Posted in celebrity divorces | 3 Comments »
|
