Comments on: Knowing Your Rights as a Divorced Family http://www.children-and-divorce.net/children-and-divorce-blog/child-centered-divorce/stress-management The Children and Divorce Blog is a place where you can share positive advice and ideas on to help your children before, during and after divorce. Thu, 02 Feb 2012 02:00:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: jinnie@biblical counseling http://www.children-and-divorce.net/children-and-divorce-blog/child-centered-divorce/stress-management/comment-page-1#comment-2999 jinnie@biblical counseling Fri, 16 Apr 2010 11:42:54 +0000 http://www.children-and-divorce.net/children-and-divorce-blog/child-centered-divorce/stress-management#comment-2999 Our life with our loved one is a long journey. Like any road it changes as we travel. It has ups and downs, hard parts and easy parts, sometimes beautiful and sometimes unattractive, at times boring and at times exciting. Through it all we treat our best beloved with love and respect, over and over letting things go, and in so doing we gain dignity for ourselves. Our life with our loved one is a long journey. Like any road it changes as we travel. It has ups and downs, hard parts and easy parts, sometimes beautiful and sometimes unattractive, at times boring and at times exciting. Through it all we treat our best beloved with love and respect, over and over letting things go, and in so doing we gain dignity for ourselves.

]]> By: Madeline http://www.children-and-divorce.net/children-and-divorce-blog/child-centered-divorce/stress-management/comment-page-1#comment-2392 Madeline Thu, 23 Jul 2009 13:20:01 +0000 http://www.children-and-divorce.net/children-and-divorce-blog/child-centered-divorce/stress-management#comment-2392 First, I would like to comment on the word <b>stress</b>. If you think about where we live, earth... there is always stress because everything around us is in motion and changing, such as the earth revolving and the flowers growing. Stress is part of living. Second, conflict and tension between two people come from the meaning that we put to events. To one person what another person says or does doesn't cause an upset or reaction. Suggestion: If you have an emotional reaction to something that your former spouse does, take a long breath, breathe into the feeling, don't respond in the moment, calm down, then talk with the person and take your reaction on as your own. "Because we have children we are going to have many years in being in each others presence and needing to communicate. I have been thinking that we need to stop the conflict and find another way of being with each other. I am going to work on not reactioning to what you say, take a few minutes to calm down inside, and then tell you how I am experiencing <i>us</i> at the time. I am asking you to listen and not react so that together we can focus on a solution instead of escalating a conflict. Are you open to the possibility of doing that?" When you have the conversation: "I don't know why, but when ..... happens, I get upset." Would like to find another way of communicating about this issue." What other techniques have you tried that have worked for you? Please weigh in. First, I would like to comment on the word stress. If you think about where we live, earth… there is always stress because everything around us is in motion and changing, such as the earth revolving and the flowers growing. Stress is part of living.

Second, conflict and tension between two people come from the meaning that we put to events. To one person what another person says or does doesn’t cause an upset or reaction.

Suggestion: If you have an emotional reaction to something that your former spouse does, take a long breath, breathe into the feeling, don’t respond in the moment, calm down, then talk with the person and take your reaction on as your own.

“Because we have children we are going to have many years in being in each others presence and needing to communicate. I have been thinking that we need to stop the conflict and find another way of being with each other. I am going to work on not reactioning to what you say, take a few minutes to calm down inside, and then tell you how I am experiencing us at the time. I am asking you to listen and not react so that together we can focus on a solution instead of escalating a conflict. Are you open to the possibility of doing that?”

When you have the conversation: “I don’t know why, but when ….. happens, I get upset.” Would like to find another way of communicating about this issue.”

What other techniques have you tried that have worked for you? Please weigh in.

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