0 commentsMany of us may have blithely glided through our college years and early twenties hopping from relationship to relationship, with no thoughts towards settling down. Now, however, we may have reached the point where those days are gone, and wonder how to go about looking for someone to share our lives and our love with.
In order to find the real thing, the honest-to-goodness til-death-do-you part kind of love, it’s necessary to know first of all where to look, second of all where NOT to look, and third of all how to know you’ve got it when you’ve found it.
Looking for Love – Where to Look
If you want to increase your chances at finding a lasting love, you’ve got to look in places that embody beliefs that you resonate with on a deep level. This is vitally important, as it establishes from the very beginning that you have some fundamental common ground, not just shallow circumstances uniting you.
Moral, ethical, political, or philosophical commonality are extremely good indicators of a love based on like-mindedness that will weather the storms of life. Some examples of these significant places may include churches or other houses of worship, political rallies, or conventions for causes that you care deeply about.
Looking for Love – Where NOT to Look
It should probably go without saying that a bar is no place to find a lasting love. It’s not impossible, but it’s pretty improbable given the fact that most people in a bar have paid for mind-fuddling substances.
There’s no guarantee that stripped of the alcohol, the pulse-raising music, and the party clothes that any chemistry felt between two people will be the same . Bars are great places to have a casual fling, to project a temporary persona that masks who you really are, but are no place to achieve the soul-baring intimacy with someone that is necessary in order to build a love that lasts.
Looking for Love – How to Know it When You Find It
Wouldn’t it be great if at the conclusion of every date you could see into the future to determine if he or she was “The ONE”, or just another one? Sadly, this is not what happens. We may be blinded by attraction or lack thereof, and miss out on what could have been the love of a lifetime. Attraction is important, it’s true, but believe it or not, attraction actually GROWS with the right person, rendering ordinary people into gods and goddesses in the eyes of their beloved.
Inherent qualities and personal characteristics are what should determine your decision. Look for someone with whom you shares core values and beliefs, who possesses a kind heart and a compassionate nature, one who is gentle and brave, and can see humor and beauty in the ordinary, and let the attraction build from there.
It is possible for everyone who is looking for love to find a deep, satisfying relationship with another person, so don’t give up hope. Continue going to the places that define you, and cultivate those qualities in yourself that you most value in another. That, my friend, is the real trick to finding lasting love.
Bellaisa mainly writes for the Relationship Circle, a blog with relationship advice on everything from common relationship issues to how to find love.
