The new year is finally here. If you went through a divorce in 2009 then you are probably thinking about how to get back into the dating scene. Well the rules for dating are still the same, however, the male approach seems to be changing. It is now up to you to decide whether you want to be the chaser or the chased.
The traditional dating role of the man is the chaser, or rather the pursuer. In this role the man is responsible for making the first move and for keeping the relationship moving forward. However, the woman is in charge of the pace at which the relationship evolves, particularly in regards to physical intimacies. This role really forces men to put themselves on the line in regards to being rejected, however, it also gives them the power to start new interactions in social settings.
The modern role that some men are taking on is the role of the chased, or the role of the pursued. This role is popular in cities where women outnumber men. Since men are in short supply they have a better selection of women to choose between and therefore they have to invest less of an effort. However, this role is somewhat limiting to who you get to interact with as you wait for the woman to make the first move.
A good way to approach dating in 2010 is to combine both roles. When you see someone that you are interested in you can make the first move, or if you are feeling like being a little more passive you can just wait until someone approaches you. The key is to find a balance between the yin and the yang of dating. This is a trick that can be difficult for adult children of divorce to manage because of past insecurities, but it is a skill that can be learned and perfected with practice.
sachin from Austin divorce lawyer
January 20th, 2010 at 16:25
Hi,
This is really a great post about the dating because i think dating is a first step of the relationship so that we should try to take care of this relation. I think those tips will be very beneficial for most of the interested people. Anyways keep it up and keep continue with your valuable thoughts.
Matt from Online dating Sydney
February 11th, 2010 at 04:22
Well, I may get into trouble for this view, but men have to do so much work to win over a lady. He needs to be confident and be a smooth talker. Women just need to give a quick cheeky grin and that’s about it!
Charlie
July 23rd, 2010 at 18:41
The approach and follow up should depend on the woman’s personality – ie. some would never pick up the phone/email/text a guy to ask for a date, others won’t think twice of it. I feel most industrialized societies have evolved to a point now in 2010 where there are more women in the latter group than the former; which is a great thing for men who are still struggling with insecurities from their divorce. Leverage this situation by focusing on developing good manners, hygiene and a sense of humor and you’ll be setting yourself in front of many other suitors.