0 commentsFrom my experiences as a counselor I have discovered that one of the reactions kids can have to a divorce is to change their behavior. These changes can be either negative or positive. As a parent you need to address both of these changes to ensure that your child is making the adjustments to your divorce in a positive manner.
Negative behavior changes, such as temper tantrums, breaking the rules, acting out or becoming withdrawn and moody, are normal for kids who have experienced a divorce. To deal with these behaviors parents generally just need to establish firm boundaries, offer their children their unconditional love and support and to work through these behavior issues as a family. However, in some cases these negative behavior changes can result in longer lasting patterns that become destructive to the child and to their families. In these cases parents need to turn to a counselor for extra guidance and help to solve the emotional problems. This can be accomplished through individual sessions with the child or family counseling sessions.
While negative behavior changes naturally cause parents to take notice and realize that there is something wrong, positive behavior changes usually don’t create the same response. Unfortunately, positive behavior changes, such as being overly helpful and taking on a lot of household responsibilities, can actually be a sign that your child is having a hard time dealing with your divorce and they are creating a new family structure with themselves as the head to provide the relationships that they yearn for. If you notice this happening in your own home then you need to look at your actions and relationships with your kids. Provide them with more attention and return to your role as the head caregiver for the family. This will help to realign your family relationships and allow your children to enjoy their childhood.
Children and divorce produce several issues that parents have to deal with, and behavior problems are just one of them. However, by understanding how to deal with behavior problems you will be able to help minimize the negative affects of divorce on children and to help children cope with divorce.
