As discussed in earlier blogs, divorce can have several effects on children and their development. One of the effects that can develop is a child’s ability to connect with other people and to develop healthy caring relationships. Problems in relationship development skills usually can be avoided if you make sure that your relationship with your child is strong before, during and after your divorce.
The first thing that you can do to ensure that your child does not develop relationship issues because of your divorce is to lead by example. Try not to instigate problems between you and your former spouse during or after your divorce. For example, don’t make false accusations, threaten them or use your kids to force them to react in a negative manner. Next, try to stay focused on what is best for your kids and work together with your former spouse to develop a parenting system that will preserve a functional family unit.
In addition to maintaining a positive relationship with your former spouse, you will also need to work on your relationship with your children. By providing them with a secure relationship with you, and by allowing them to have a secure relationship with their other parent, you are reinforcing the idea that caring, supportive relationships are both important and possible. Do what you can to ensure that these relationships are possible and that they will succeed.
The affects of divorce on children can be either short term or long term. The key is making positive effects long term and negative effects short term by developing strategies for managing the challenges presented by children and divorce. Return next week for a discussion on selecting a divorce mediation specialist.
I really appreciate the awareness and time put into keeping moms and dads aware of divorce and the long-standing effects.
I have written a children’s picture book, A Heart With Two Homes, that has just been published. My personal goal was to use my experiential wisdom and public school teaching experience to educate and equip children to reconcile their often two homes and two personalities as a result of divorce.
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