As discussed in earlier blogs, divorce can have several effects on children and their development. One of the effects that can develop is a child’s ability to connect with other people and to develop healthy caring relationships. Problems in relationship development skills usually can be avoided if you make sure that your relationship with your child is strong before, during and after your divorce.
The first thing that you can do to ensure that your child does not develop relationship issues because of your divorce is to lead by example. Try not to instigate problems between you and your former spouse during or after your divorce. For example, don’t make false accusations, threaten them or use your kids to force them to react in a negative manner. Next, try to stay focused on what is best for your kids and work together with your former spouse to develop a parenting system that will preserve a functional family unit.
In addition to maintaining a positive relationship with your former spouse, you will also need to work on your relationship with your children. By providing them with a secure relationship with you, and by allowing them to have a secure relationship with their other parent, you are reinforcing the idea that caring, supportive relationships are both important and possible. Do what you can to ensure that these relationships are possible and that they will succeed.
The affects of divorce on children can be either short term or long term. The key is making positive effects long term and negative effects short term by developing strategies for managing the challenges presented by children and divorce. Return next week for a discussion on selecting a divorce mediation specialist.
I really appreciate the awareness and time put into keeping moms and dads aware of divorce and the long-standing effects.
I have written a children’s picture book, A Heart With Two Homes, that has just been published. My personal goal was to use my experiential wisdom and public school teaching experience to educate and equip children to reconcile their often two homes and two personalities as a result of divorce.
[...] – Blogger News NetworkWashington Shared Parenting ? Blog Archive ? Washington Passes SB5470 into law Affects of Divorce on Children : Relationships Tags child custody visitation right father right child support parent alienation custody child [...]
i really appreciate it.its wonderfully written.. thanks for sharing.
Sweet blog. I never know what I am going to come across next. I think you should do more posting as you have some pretty intelligent stuff to say.
I’ll be watching you .
You make some good points here. If dealt with in the right way (by both parents) I don’t think a divorce needs to affect children that much. It’s very important that parents work together for the children’s sake.
Divoce is always going to affect children because they automatically go through the mourning process. It is an unconscious breaking-up of the family’s energy pattern.
Pawan, and what do you have to add?
Children do make it through divorce but there will always be the scars. But you are right the relationship of children to both parents must be kept as well as possible.
I think of the Reba show and the strange relationship between Reba and her Ex’ new wife.
It’s sad how many people can’t maintain a positive relationship with a former spouse simply because of bitterness or spite. Putting the kids first is always the most important thing. Giving them both male and female positive role models is second.
Your own resentment toward your ex? Wayyyyyyy down there on the list.
I agree with what your saying. My Dad’s parents stayed together for the kids, although they were arguing all the time. And this affected him and his sister more than if they had just got divorced. An unhappy family atmosphere isn’t going to help the children.
Although parents divorcing is bound to affect children in some way, there are ways of dealing with it that will not hurt them too much. For example not arguing in front of them and not critising the other parent in front of them.
Unfortunately, divorce rates in the west are very high, which means there must be something wrong w/ the people’s mindset. In my country, there is no such thing as divorce. You don’t hear people getting separated.
Thanks for the fantastic post – I had fun reading it! I always love looking at your blog.
Relationship is a very sensitive thing and if any child faced that thing in their childhood then it is really a serious problem because he or she will not easily make the relationship. Anyways keep it up and keep continue.
well i think its really a nice post and i advise to all parents that must read this post in order to make their children relationship bond more secure in future. since child learn what they see in home so stop fighting and don’t result into divorce.
Relationship is a bond or connection you have with a person or other people. Divorce between parents always affect on their children nature. Children face lots of problem in their life. Depression is one of them, most of the children go into depression they don’t talk with anyone even their parent also. Divorce is very badly affects on children nature.
Good post and advice here
Having recently split with my wife I find that I needed to have a positive relationship towards her for my daughters sake. I do this because breaking up is hard enough and especially with children invloved. I hope to not cause to much emotional scarring in my daughter and hope she can form good realationships in the future