As a divorced mother and a psychologist I have seen how divorce can affect children. In severe cases where the divorcing parents have focused on money and screwing the other out of everything that they can, the children have all been but destroyed. However, in cases where the parents have made valiant efforts to protect their kids from the traumas of divorce and the arguments that are normally associated with any partnership dissolution, the kids have been able to survive the divorce and rebound without lasting scars.
Children cope with divorce in many different ways. I have seen some kids withdraw from the world as a way to remove themselves from the discomfort of the situation, while I have seen others take on the role of a parental figure for their younger siblings and even for their parents. The age, personality and emotional maturity of the child is going to impact which coping methods they use.
Humor, love, understanding and patience are required for surviving a divorce as a family. The bonds that have been created between parents and their children need to be cherished and strengthened during this difficult situation. When I went through my divorce I saw it as an opportunity to become a better parent and a stronger more compassionate individual. My son, who was three years old at the time, seemed to pick up on my determination to make the divorce a good thing. He was able to deal with the schedule changes, the change of address and the occasional emotional distress that infiltrated our home. Today, my son and I are very close because I chose to be a divorce success story instead of a statistic.
Dealing with divorce in a possitive manner means that you have to invest in yourself and in your family. You need to learn how to minimize the affects of divorce on children and what to do to help children coping with divorce. Find answers to your divorce questions at Children and Divorce today!
Yes, Love, Understanding and Patience is a must to survive being part of a divorced family. My parents aren’t divorced in legal terms but they separately broke apart for good several yrs. ago. Divorce wasn’t allowed here in our country. It’s really hard to cope at a your younger age, your innocent days and your emotional implication, but yet struggling those times to forget and til times gone by slowly by slowly my scars went healed by time.
My mother gave all the support i need, while my father left us and went gone to someone else, my mother really did bear all those pain in vain, it took many yrs for her to accept and understands. It is had to cope when divorce happens in your family when you are young.
The time goes by slowly and so does the recovery, yet the scars still remains on my mother’s heart. My mother provides me with everything I needed emotionally and supported us even when we encountered countless troubles. That’s why its really not easy to cope up everything when the family mislead into trouble, specially the children could be the main victim of those circumstances, its all about pain, fear, revenge, despair and loosing of love, if the child could not be guided.
Parents need to think more than a thousand times before they will do such anguish things and selfishness act for their child’s future. It’s really not easy to live life without your love ones to guide you specially our parents that teaches us the essence of moral values and molding us to be human by faith.
Adonis
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Helping your kids through your divorce…or how to lie your kids.
The parents who divorce are irresponsible and a society which encourage them to divorce is a sick society.
There is also a stupidity to believe that there are receipts to help kids in these horrible situation. A huge parasitic industry of shelters, lawyers, psychologists and social workers are created to destroy families.
Children can be affected by the divorce of their parents, but if the parents make an effort to keep the disruption on the child’s life to a minimum, it doesn’t need to affect them too much. It certainly helps if the two parents can be ammicable about it all, especially in front of the child.
Hi,
I think divorce makes a very negative impact on the minds of children.
Parents must think very deeply before taking any step.
Thanks.
There are so many children’s lives ruined by impetuos parents that marry and just as quickly divorce. So many couples should simply not have kids. I have seen 18 year olds with kids, I even ran across a 17 year old with a child. What were they thinking ? Poor kids, they had no choice in the matter.
Birth control brought this all about and the 70’s.
Many teenagers want kids because they think it is going to improve their social status.. a warped sense of reality.
Just think how their hormones are in disaray during teenage years. They can’t think straight even if they tried.
There is an old Zig Ziglar saying, “Fake it until you make it!”
Wow! That’s a pretty strong statement.
I have a son who I love and adore completely. He is a polite, well behaved child who is happy and well adjusted. Unfortunatly his father has begun to drink more and more heavily with frequent ‘blackouts’ and injuring himself as he is too drunk to look after himself properly.
My son’s father refuses help. I’ve left.
This was done not because I am irresponsible, but because I AM responsible. My son will not see his father’s behaviour and think it is normal, I will not allow it.
Dont dare to lecture to me, a newly single parent, with your narrow judgements on the world as there are stories behind every statistic and believe me when i tell you this is not the way i imagined things would happen but feel strongly that there was no other, viable, choice in the matter.
I will continue to give my child the best i can, always.
what would you expect me to say to my 3 year old Yavel to “tell him the truth?” rather than lie? am i a member of your sick society?
It’s unfortunate that very often parents who are divorcing focus on the division of property over best interest of their children.
This site is not here to lecture anyone. I support you 100% in your decision. A parent’s job is to keep their child safe and that is exactly what you are doing. It takes courage to walk away with a child and build a new life on your own.
Marriages are made in heaven but celebrated on earth. But sometimes these celebrations turn sour because of several reasons and take the form of divorce, thus parting the souls which were meant to stay together. The pain through which the divorced people pass though cannot be expressed in words.
My parents had seperated when I was only 6 years old and I do not think that I fully recovered until I was in high school. Now I am 28 and I have slowly grown away from my dad,we may talk once a year and we only live an hour away from each other. I hate it and know that the early divorce effected a lot of it
It is too common with divorce cases these days. We can say almost 2/3 of all marriages end up in divorce. Things can get even worse with children around. Luckily, I’m not the one as my parents are married for more than 30 years now. I hope I will do the same too.
Coping with divorce is sometimes very difficult. i am a huge advocate for talking with a specialist to help cope. And i do speak for experience.