One of the issues that kids face when their parents are going through a divorce, or when they are fighting after the divorce, is the feeling of being put in the middle of their parents’ battles with each other. Because of this, many children suffer emotional trauma that can have long lasting effects. However, grandparents can help their grandchildren by providing them with a safe zone that they can retreat to when things at home get too volatile for them to handle.
When I was going through my divorce, my parents were the ones that my children turned to for a sympathetic ear. It wasn’t until years after the divorce that my mother related to me that they had been the kids safety valve. Children and divorce… it is a challenging road for everyone.
Divorce naturally creates tension and hostility between divorcing couples. Even couples that are trying to remain civil to one another and focus on doing what is best for their children can sometimes feel defensive and irrational. This is because the couple may not be eye to eye on what is best for the kids or they may feel scarred about their ability to survive financially after the divorce. When this happens arguments occur. When these battles erupt it is important to provide your kids with a safety zone. This is where grandparents can be a huge saving grace.
Setting up a safety zone for your kids is a great way to ensure that they don’t have to suffer any more than they have to. When you are overwhelmed with stress, when you are fighting with your soon-to-be ex-spouse or your ex-spouse, then having your kids stay with their grandparents for a couple of days will help accomplish two things. First of all it will give you the space that you need to deal with the issues at hand and get things under control again, and secondly it will keep your kids separated from the battle.
Having grandparents take temporary physical child custody in divorce of their grandchildren can help to minimize the long term effects divorce has on children. It can also provide young and older children after divorce with a safety zone where they can retreat to for stability.
Finding solutions to parenting challenges is something that we all have to do. Sometimes it helps to step back and view the situation without your parent hat on. If you still can’t find a solution, look for help.