Divorce has many affects on children. Today I would like to talk about how your divorce can affect your child’s ability to trust. Trust is a huge issue with kids, and during a time when their world is being turned on its heels, it is more important than ever to pay close attention to your actions, especially in regards to promises and dedication to your relationship with your child.
Trust is a learned behavior which is based on significant life events, like going through your parents’ divorce. A sure fire way for kids to lose their ability to trust people is to have parents that fail to follow through with their promises. Promises include everything from promising to take the child somewhere special to promising to help them with their homework. Before you make a promise to your child, make sure you can follow through with it.
While we all occasionally fail to follow through with a promise, if you happen to break a promise to your child, you need to rectify the breach of contract with them as quickly as possible. To do this you will first want to apologize for not being able to fulfill your end of the deal, then explain why and finally offer them a couple of options to make it up to them. Now I am not saying that you have to grovel, placate or bribe them. What I am saying is to do something that shows your child that you feel that they are important and that your dedication to them is unyielding.
The affects of divorce on children is going to vary depending on the specific events that transpire during the divorce as well how you interact with your children and divorce and your former spouse. Upcoming topics include children and divorce, and divorce mediation.
