Child, Divorce, Parents and Stress

While a lot of the emotional stress attributed to divorce comes from the dissolution of your intimate relationship with your former partner, addition stress is added by going through the legal process of divorcing as well. This stress is caused by several factors including: not knowing what to expect, dealing with the legal invasion of your privacy and having to pace your separation based on the legal standards of your state’s judicial system. While you can’t outrun these stress sources, you can minimize them by educating yourself about the divorce process.

Divorce is uncomfortable, even when you part on good terms. The problem is that the legal system approaches the divorce much as it would the dissolution of a business partnership. It is very cold, calculated and based on legal standards. However, while this type of process is affective for businesses it is not really conducive for personal relationships, as all marital assets are linked with emotional meaning. This makes dealing objectively with the division of these items difficult to do, and this is why so many heated arguments arise.

The solution to this problem is two fold. First you need to learn what an attorney based divorce is going to be like. For example, you can learn what timeline you can expect based on your state’s family laws, how your marital assets will be divided, if you have a way to ask for specific items and how to establish a parenting plan that will work well for your family. Next you can examine if using a divorce mediator would be a better option. Divorce mediators are relationship centric instead of law centric. This means your emotions and relationships are dealt with professionally and used as an asset towards coming to mutually beneficial decisions.

Dealing with divorce is never easy. However, if you have children then you need to learn how to mediate your divorce so that you can preserve your emotional health and theirs.

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