Children and Divorced Parents
Why Kids of Divorce Hate Holidays

Children and divorced parents often times have mixed feelings about holidays, especially the big ones like Thanksgiving and Christmas. This is because the kids know that they will be away from at least one of their parents on these special days, and at least one parent will be disappointed that they will not be with their children on these special days. If you are trying to solve your own divorced family holiday conundrum then you may want to try one of these holiday solutions for dealing with children and divorce.

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The first option for improving holidays for children and divorced parents is to take the emphasis off the importance of being together because of the holiday, and instead focus on the importance of just being together. A lot of children from divorced families dread the holidays because they feel that no matter what they do they are ruining the holiday for at least one of their parents. They may feel guilty for not being with one parent, and they may also feel guilty for feeling guilty about one parent when they are with the other. This no win situation needs to be removed from the equation. Realize as a family that holidays are fun and special and it is great to celebrate them together. However, the real spirit of the holiday is to love and enjoy your family. This realization can help you to remove the importance of being together on a specific date, and instead focus your celebration on the people that you love.

One reason why parents love holidays is because they are an excuse to have fun, be extravagant and to make special memories. In order to reduce stress caused by fighting over family time on a single holiday like Christmas, you may want to consider jazzing up a second holiday so both divorced parents have a special holiday that they can celebrate with their children without “robbing” the other parent of their fare share of memories and family moments. This solution will help to reduce tension between the parents around the holidays, and it will lessen the effects of divorce on children. It will help your children to relax and enjoy each holiday and it will also provide them with two super holidays instead of one tense holiday celebration.

Another option that you can try in your divorce parenting plan is to have each parent develop their own special holiday to celebrate with their kids. This approach will allow the family to celebrate without causing the parent not involved any stress or bad feelings. This will in turn create a holiday situation that your kids can actually enjoy without worrying that they are either disappointing one of their parents or neglecting the other. These made up holidays don’t have to be based around presents. They can be based on doing something fun and exciting as a family like going on a camping trip, visiting an amusement park or having a family adventure.