Effective Divorce Parenting Plan
Make Shared Custody Easier

A divorce parenting plan is the tool that is used to outline the rules for parenting after a marriage is dissolved. Each state has its own set of family laws that dictates the rules and formats for their parent custody plans. However, they all basically cover the same things. A good parenting plan should set up a schedule for when each parent will have custody of the children during the week, a holiday schedule, information about how and when the children will be passed between custodial parents and guidelines that will ensure that each parent will not act in a way that is disrespectful of the other parent in front of their children.

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The first part of a good divorce parenting plan should be a statement that illustrates your joint responsibilities to raise your children. This statement should include the name of each parent and the name of each child. It should then go on to explain what type of custody and responsibility that each parent will have. If no abuse is involved in the divorce then you may want to consider sharing both physical and legal responsibilities for your minor children.

After the introduction to the divorce parent custody plan has been stated you will want to offer numbered instructions about how you plan to share custody and responsibility of your children. Again you will want to refer to the divorce laws from your state, for example if you are a resident of California then you will want to refer to the laws for divorce in California.

The first numbered point that you will want to make will be the regular custody schedule for the week. This point should state what days the children will spend with each parent, when the children will be handed off to the other parent and where the children will be when they are with each parent. If one of the divorced parents lives out of state then you will want to include information about who is responsible for paying transportation costs for the children to visit their out-of-state parent and you will want to list travel restrictions for that parental visit.

The next numbered point that your divorce parenting plan will have will address holidays and special occasions. In most cases it is recommended to simply rotate holidays. For example the kids may spend Christmas with their mother, New Years with their father, Valentine’s Day with their mother, and Easter with their father. It is also usually recommended that the kids spend Mother’s Day with their mother and Father’s Day with their father regardless of whose scheduled time it is supposed to be. Provisions should also be made to allow for changes in this schedule, as long as the changes are requested at least two weeks before the change is to be made and as long as both parents agree to the change.

In addition to addressing when each child will be in the custody of each parent, the divorce parenting plan also needs to provide guidance on how to be respectful of the other parent. The combination of children and divorce can lead to difficulties if not handled properly, so it is important to make a rule that states that each parent cannot talk badly about the other parent in the presence of their children.

This section offers acceptable methods for communicating with your children when they are not in your custody. For example you may allow unlimited text messaging and emailing, however, you may also want to put a limit on the number of phone calls that can be made each day by the non-custodial parent and when those calls can be made. If there is a lot of animosity between the two parents then third party hand-offs may help to reduce uncomfortable hand offs. Neutral drop-off locations can also be helpful.