Learn How Counseling Benefits Divorced Children

With more than half of all marriages in the United States ending in divorce, many parents worry that their children will suffer the side effects forever. The truth is, 40 percent of all kids of divorce emerge from the experience well-adjusted and confident.

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Naturally, divorce is unpleasant for parents and children, but don't forget how resilient children are. Many couples who received good marriage counseling during their break-up believe that counseling benefits divorced children as well, giving hope to the children who have trouble dealing with life in the wake of divorce.

Negative effects on the psychology of young children who received no therapy after divorce have been well-documented. One study of 200 children of divorce revealed that 23.5 percent of those who received no counseling suffered from mental health problems when they reached their teens.

They were also more prone to risk-taking behaviors such as illegal drug use and multiple sex partners.

On the positive side it was also revealed in the study that counseling benefits divorced children. Only 11 percent of the study group that did receive counseling services suffered any lasting mental trauma by the time they became teenagers.

Those who participated in therapy remained healthy children throughout their early childhood and their teenage years.

Sometimes, teen kids have more trouble adjusting to divorce than younger children. Because they're older they understand more about what's happening and they're better able to sense the distress that either parent may be feeling.

Teens and preteens are also more likely than younger children to have witnessed the marriage as it was in the process of falling apart, which can leave them raw and shell-shocked with feelings that can quickly evolve into feelings of anger, betrayal, mistrust, and depression.

The symptoms and extremes mentioned above are times when counseling benefits divorced children because it often takes an uninvolved, objective third party to help a teen come to terms with their negative emotions.

Many schools have program for children when their parents are going through a divorce such as the Rainbow Program. Check with the school counselor or Principal and see what support systems may be in place for your children.

Some steps you can take to make things easier as you're considering the pros and cons of children and divorce are...

• Be sure that your children have positive supports in place within their peer group and family members
• Avoid parent-bashing when you're frustrated with your spouse
• Maintain household rules and routine events such as mealtimes and bedtimes
• Seek therapy for your kids right away within your community counseling programs if you come to believe that counseling benefits divorced children.